Taking a Moment (SoLSC 5/31) #sol15

Yesterday, as I was packing my bag and putting on my coat to leave school, I was blinded by the glare of the sun coming off the snow. Now, after the long, cold, gray winter we’ve had in Wisconsin, I’m certainly not complaining about the sun shining, but it was so unexpected that I was drawn to it. It shone into my eyes so brightly that I had to stop for a minute to appreciate it, then I dug out my phone to snap a picture because it was such a unique view at that moment. I’m lucky to work at an incredible school that is surrounded by nature on 200 acres of land. With the angle of my classroom with west facing windows, I get amazing views of sunsets over the back hill, particularly in the wintertime. I often will take a moment as I’m heading out of building to grab a quick picture when the view of the sunset is striking enough to stop me for a moment, and it reminds me of something important. Sometimes it’s good to take a quiet, peaceful, reflective moment at the end of a long day to appreciate the view and beauty of nature.

The shining sun view from my window yesterday.

The sunset view from the building before Thanksgiving.

I didn't even know what I needed... (SoLSC 4/31) #sol15

I had a tough day yesterday. I wrote about it in my Slice. I needed to write to get my head on straight. As I had predicted in the morning, with the perspective of many hours later, I was feeling better, but I still posted it. I wasn’t sure what the response would be, if anything, but I hadn’t done it for that, I’d done it for myself…to work it all out in my head space. And since Slicing is all about sharing your truth through your writing, I knew I needed to go with what were my honest thoughts.

I hit submit on my post as I was walking out of school (since I drafted it as I was modeling for my students in class). By the time I got home ten minutes later, I already had several comments and a text message from a friend. As I was responding to my friend who was concerned, I started getting twitter direct message notifications – another friend was worried. As the evening went on, messages and comments continued, and I started to realize something.

I didn’t even know what I needed yesterday when I wrote what I did – I just knew that I needed to clear out my head a bit by putting the swirling thoughts onto paper (screen) so they were out of my head and I could focus on what I needed to do throughout the day to teach the students in front of me. But what I really needed was to know there were people who understood.

I don’t think I even knew the depth of the community I have built over the years through my twitter PLN and the edufriends I have made there. I realized that they have become some of my truest friends, not only because they understand what I do professionally, but because they are some of the most caring, supportive people I know. I needed their support even though I didn’t know it at the time. But throughout the evening, as the messages came in, the encouragement and understanding I got from those friends helped me immensely. It reminded me that I’m not alone.

I didn’t even know what I needed yesterday, but my friends gave me what I needed anyway, even if I didn’t know to ask for it. They were there for me, sharing realizations from their own lives, letting me know they were thinking of me, making me laugh, being my cheerleaders, reminding me of who I am and what’s important. I am so very grateful for that.

When your world looks askew (SoLSC 3/31) #sol15

My day started today with a phone call. It was not a pleasant call. It was full of harsh words and things that were hard to hear. I tried to temper it with the knowledge that it was because someone was hurting or frustrated on the other end of the line, but there are still times when it is hard to hear what someone is saying to you. It hits at the deepest insecurities you have, it shows you that you haven’t addressed something you thought you had, it makes you question everything. It brings tears to your eyes.

This was not the way I was planning on starting my day. I wasn’t planning to still be thinking about it two hours later. I wasn’t planning to have the thoughts tumbling and crashing around in my mind that have been for the last two hours. But here they are.

What am I doing? Where am I going? Why do I subject myself to some of the things I do? It’s hard to be vulnerable and expose yourself to so much, yet still keep a positive perspective and outlook. I may wear various titles, but I am still a human being, and when you are hurtful to another human being, they can bleed or break. As much as I hope I am never the cause of that to someone else, I know that isn’t always the case. And then I hurt to know I have hurt someone else, and I do what I can to fix it. I make mistakes, I know I've made many and will continue to unintentionally do so, and I try to learn from them. But to be on the receiving end of something, when you feel that hurt by the words, it can be difficult to move past it in your head.

I would love to be able to say that it’s not still bothering me, but it is, and it’s making me question everything. Why do I put myself in a position where this can happen? Is this still the right thing for me? Is it healthy for me emotionally to stay in this type of situation, or is it time to think about other options? And what are those options that would fulfill me as much as what I’m doing now?

I have a whole lot of questions swirling in my head, and not many answers right now, but as I write this at 9:20 this morning, I can be fairly certain that things will look differently six hours from now. And if they don’t, maybe it is time to think some more about what’s right for me.

Deep Thoughts From the Airport (SoLSC 2/31) #sol15

Here I sit, waiting in an airport for my flight home. I travel quite a bit. See although I live in Wisconsin (even though the winters are rough, Milwaukee is a great city!), my family does not. My parents and little brother live in Phoenix, my older brother and his family with four of my nieces and nephews live in Dallas. I have friends scattered across the country. I attend conferences and conventions. I fly quite a bit, so I know the routine at the airport, security line protocols, and I plan for them to be as efficient as I can.

Today we were randomly selected for the pre-check line. It seemed to take longer than the regular line. As the TSA agent was explaining the rules, I made the comment, "Oh, we're going old school." thinking that since we could keep our shoes on and liquids in the bag (which I already knew), it was a blast from the past. And it really should be going faster. It didn't seem to work that way. It got me thinking that sometimes when we do things that are intended to be faster, if they go against the grain of what we've become used to, it might actually make things less efficient.

The end of my deep thoughts from the airport for now. I'm sure there's a connection to the classroom, and life, here somewhere.

Today I Start Slicing (SoLSC 1/31) #sol15

Today is the day I start Slicing.

I'm trying this for real. I've read many friends' Slices for the past couple of years, and it's time for me to start. I need to get back into a writing habit. I need to get over my slump. I need to get going on small blog posts so I can keep going on my larger (book) writing project. I need to just write...and hat better way than a challenge to do it for 31 days straight? 

I need my students to write more. Sometimes in the midst of planning as a language arts teacher for 7th and 8th graders, I start to feel that they're not writing enough. They need more opportunities to just write, to play, to try things out, to challenge themselves, to write without pressure of a longer time period for the writing process...they need to Slice. 

If I am challenging my students to do something, I always say I better be willing to do it myself also, so here I am...participating for the very first time in the Slice of Life Story Challenge and the very first time guiding and modeling for my students to participate in the Classroom Slice of Life Story Challenge. We are in this together. I'm filled with anticipation and wonderment for where we will all be with our thinking and our writing a month from from now. 

Today it begins.